Trump Loves Musicals? We Imagine What His Broadway Playlist Might Be

edited September 2021 in Theatre Concerts

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Does former President Trump like Broadway musicals? Apparently, he does, according to excerpts from an upcoming book by Stephanie Grisham, former press secretary under the Trump Administration.

President Trump liked certain musicals so much that one of his officials was reportedly designated as “The Music Man” and would be called upon to play one of Trump’s favorite songs “Memory” from ‘Cats’ to calm him down during one of his tantrums.

There were signs of his affinity for musicals even before he became president. “Music of the Night” from ‘Phantom of the Opera’ was a part of his 2016 campaign playlist, and he described his fondness not just for musicals, but for Andrew Lloyd Webber specifically in his book “Think Like a Billionaire”. Supposedly he had a particular liking for the musical “Evita”.

We were surprised to say the least, especially given what we know his taste in movies to be like. We may never know what his Broadway Musical playlist sounds like, but we think we can take a guess based on his business acumen and how he governed the country. Maybe he’ll reveal it in his Presidential Library one day, but for now, here’s our guess.

Editor’s Note: This is a satire, and we won’t be kind to Trump. If you’re a Trump supporter who is easily triggered, you can read the guest editorial we published making the case on how you could support Trump and still love theatre.

  1. I’ve Come to Wive It Wealthily in Padua (Kiss Me Kate)

    Based on the aforementioned temper tantrums and his love of wealth, he could frankly position himself as Petruchio or Kate. Either way, it speaks to him.

2. Man Up (Book of Mormon)

We would guess Trump is a big fan of this musical for all of its foul language as well as its ridicule of Mormons, (never mind its highly questionable mocking of Uganda).

Why this song? We think based on his comments of John McCain and how he in general views strength, he probably would celebrate any notion of people being “real heroes” due to “manning up” and totally miss the satire of the song.

3. Making Things up Again (Book of Mormon)

Yep, another song from Book of Mormon. Look, it contains crude humor, mentions of female body parts, and a celebration of lying, all things we know Trump loves! How is this not on his playlist?

4. Don’t Cry For Me Argentina (Evita)

As mentioned earlier, Evita is allegedly one of Trump’s favorite musicals. We suspect he identifies a lot with Eva Peron: they were both champions of the working class, both not elected to office with the popular vote, both highly controversial, and both living fabulously lavish lifestyles while pretending to be one with the common person.

So yeah, we’re not surprised he likes this musical.

5. Cool Cool Considerate Men (1776)

The song glorifies rich white landowners looking for their own self-interest over others. Need I say more?

6. Master of The House (Les Miserables)

A song about an innkeeper ripping off his tenants and glorifying property owners of ill-kept properties. Yep, it jives with Trump. In a related story, here' are some reviews of Trump’s Washington DC hotel.

7. Gaston (Beauty and the Beast)

We just have to think Trump views Gaston as the ultimate pinnacle of manliness, and probably the real hero of the show.

8. Bring Me My Bride (A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The Forum)

Just take a look at some of the lyrics to a song that we wouldn’t be fazed if we heard Trump wrote it himself:

“I’ve come to claim my bride
Come tenderly to crush her against my side
Let haste be made!
I cannot be delayed:
There are lands to conquer, cities to loot and peoples to degrade
Come, bring to me my bride
My lust for her no longer can be denied
Convey the news!
I have no time to lose:
There are towns to plunder, temples to burn and women to abuse
I am my ideal!
I, Miles Gloriosus
I, slaughterer of thousands
I, oppressor of the meek
Subduer of the weak
Degrader of the Greek
Destroyer of the Turk
Must hurry back to work”
— A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The Forum

If that’s not the finale of Trump’s Broadway Musical Playlist, we will eat our hats, even a Trump red hat.

What, you think 8 songs is short for a playlist? We agree, but do you think a man of his attention span can make it past 8 songs? Neither can we.

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